Trying to make a change.

It is something I struggle with every day.

It is a huge part of our family life and where marriage is hard at times, it can become almost unbearable when considering the facts.

But these are a few of the facts about the laws in respect to divorce, custody and maintenance where we live:

-Custodial parents are required to abide by court orders that set out visitation times with the children's other parent, which generally only include minimal access. However, if the custodial parent (generally the mother) decides to withhold the other parent's access, the police will not enforce it unless there is an enforcement clause put into the court order. Even then, the police will often not help, saying they "don't want to get involved."

-There are no statutory guidelines in respect to a father's access to his children of a past marriage. Therefore fathers must surrender to the conscience and mercy of the decision of the mother to grant him access to the children.

-Child support laws are based solely upon the income of the father. He must surrender upon demand, within 30 days, his tax information in any given year.

-Child support is not calculated based upon the needs of the children involved, but only upon the gross income that the father earns. The mother's income is not calculated into the equation at all. Further, fathers can no longer claim their child support payments as deductions for tax purposes, and mothers do not have to claim it as income. Mothers are not accountable at all as to how or whether the money is used for the children at all.

-Subsequent children born to a father do not lessen his obligation to pay the same baseline amount for children of a divorce.

-Fathers have a legal obligation to continue paying child support for adult children (past age 18) if they are enrolled to attain post-secondary education, until they have obtained their degree. Also, fathers BY LAW have to pay for 1/2 of the cost of the child's education. (The ONLY circumstance in this country where any parent is forced to pay for a child's college or university education.)



Your first thoughts are likely similar to what mine were...


"How can this be, it's completely unfair?"

"Surely you can fight this?"

"There must be some limit that protects the rights of fathers and 'second families'."


But after countless hours of speaking to those who have been in similar situations, researching over published law information from the internet, and from law textbooks, and even speaking to lawyers, the answer is ...

No.

You can try to plead your case in court, but to the tune of thousands that will basically get you nowhere except further behind, because those are the laws.

I came across a group called ECMAS (equitable child maintenance and access society)which is lobbying for the rights of fathers and children caught up in this mangled web of unjustice and I am trying to get as many people as I can to sign a petition that may help to make law makers aware of how one sided and unequitable these laws are.

If you feel the way I do and wish to help, please let me know and I will arrange to get the petition to you.